• English
  • 简体中文
  • 繁體中文
  • Tiếng Việt
  • ไทย
  • Indonesia

100 Funny Stock Market Quotes to Make You a Better Trader

Daniel Rogers

Oct 28, 2022 16:27

 截屏2022-10-28 下午4.26.12.png


1. You get recession, you have stock market declines. If you don’t understand that’s going to happen, then you’re not ready, you won’t do well in the markets. -Peter Lynch


2. The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient. -Warren Buffett


3. One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute. -William Feather


4. The secret recipe for success in stock market is simple. 30% in market analysis skills, 30% in risks management, 30% in emotion control, and 10% in luck. -Benjamin Lee


5. The main purpose of the stock market is to make fools of as many men as possible. -Bernard Baruch


6. If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. -Norman Ralph Augustine


7. The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win. -Joey Adams


8. Stock market goes up or down, and you can't adjust your portfolio based on the whims of the market, so you have to have a strategy in a position and stay true to that strategy and not pay attention to noise that could surround any particular investment. -John Paulson


9. Investors should purchase stocks like they purchase groceries, not like they purchase perfume. -Ben Graham


10. An investor without investment objectives is like a traveler without a destination. -Ralph Seger


11. I know people who repeatedly jump from one guru to the next in search of the Holy Grail of trading. Of course, it doesn’t exist, but you need to know this fact to stop looking for it. -Naved Abdali


12. In the short run, the market is a voting machine. But in the long run, it is a weighing machine. -Ben Graham


13. Stock market bubbles don't grow out of thin air. They have a solid basis in reality, but reality as distorted by a misconception. -George Soros


14. I am not in the stock market. I am beholden to no one in what I do. If I spend billions on a fashion show, I spend billions. It's not public. And if I am in the stock market, I am obligated to account for things, and to show what the business is doing. -Giorgio Armani


15. Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent. -John Maynard Keynes


16. A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. -Mark Twain


17. Anybody who plays the stock market not as an insider is like a man buying cows in the moonlight. -Daniel Drew


18. I never attempt to make money on the stock market. I buy on the assumption that they could close the market the next day and not reopen it for five years. -Warren Buffet


19. Bottoms in the investment world don't end with four-year lows; they end with 10- or 15-year lows. -Jim Rogers


20. I believe, in the stock market - that's one of my fields - that most people are irrational. And to be irrational, you can be irrational in so many different ways that, practically, the result is indeterminate. -Paul Samuelson


21. The key to making money in stocks is not to get scared out of them. -Peter Lynch


22. We have this culture of financialization. People think they need to make money with their savings rather with their own business. So you end up with dentists who are more traders than dentists. A dentist should drill teeth and use whatever he does in the stock market for entertainment. -Nassim Nicholas Taleb


23. Money is not the only thing we invest. We must also be good investors of our time, energy, focus, & love. Our current life is a reflection of the wisdom of our past investments. -Steve Burns


24. Never bend your rules to accommodate your guts. -Naved Abdali


25. I will tell you how to become rich. Close the doors. Be fearful when others are greedy. Be greedy when others are fearful. -Warren Buffett


26. My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil. -JP Getty


27. Big money is made in the stock market by being on the right side of the major moves. The idea is to get in harmony with the market. It's suicidal to fight trends. They have a higher probability of continuing than not. -Martin Zweig


28. Alas, in 1929 came the Stock Market crash and everything changed and became worrisome. People started practicing conservatism because of financial losses, myself included. -Pola Negri


29. If you can’t take a small loss, sooner or later you will take the mother of all losses. -Ed Seykota


30. Even the intelligent investor is likely to need considerable willpower to keep from following the crowd. -Benjamin Graham


31. For those of us in the financial world, Black Friday has a strong negative connotation, referring to a stock market catastrophe. -Mark Skousen


32. The four most expensive words in the english language are, “This time it’s different. -Sir John Templeton


33. I believe, in the stock market - that's one of my fields - that most people are irrational. And to be irrational, you can be irrational in so many different ways that, practically, the result is indeterminate. -Paul Samuelson


34. The stock market clearly values companies that can deliver disruptive innovation. -Steve Blank


35. Stock market is a battlefield. Always remember to survive in the game first. Only those that survive the battle can enjoy the spoils of the war. -Benjamin Lee


36. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. -Lucius Annaeus Seneca


37. With a good perspective on history, we can have a better understanding of the past and present, and thus a clear vision of the future. -Carlos Slim Helu


38. Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die. -Max Asnas


39. Value stocks are about as exciting as watching grass grow, but have you ever noticed just how much your grass grows in a week? -Christopher Browne


40. My father was a person who always allowed me to do what I wanted but he told me you want to go to a stock market, first get yourself qualified. So, I qualified myself as a chartered accountant and my dad said what do you want to do? I said I want to go to the stock market. He asked what will you do? I said I invest. -Rakesh Jhunjhunwala


41. The stock market is filled with individuals who know the price of everything, but the value of nothing. -Philip Fisher


42. It's not whether you're right or wrong that's important, but how much money you make when you're right and how much you lose when you're wrong. -George Soros


43. If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem. -JP Getty


44. It's one of the fundamental principles of the stock market: When interest rates go up, stocks go down. And along with financial companies and cyclicals, technology companies - with their sky-high price-to-earnings multiples - should be among the biggest losers in an environment of rising rates. -Alex Berenson

截屏2022-10-28 下午4.25.59.png


45. When purchasing depressed stock in troubled companies, seek out the ones with the superior financial positions and avoid the ones with loads of bank debt. -Peter Lynch


46. The stock market is filled with individuals who know the price of everything, but the value of nothing. -Phillip Fisher


47. We have this culture of financialization. People think they need to make money with their savings rather with their own business. So you end up with dentists who are more traders than dentists. A dentist should drill teeth and use whatever he does in the stock market for entertainment. -Nassim Nicholas Taleb


48. Stop trying to predict the direction of the stock market, the economy or the elections. -Warren Buffett


49. How many millionaires do you know who have become wealthy by investing in savings accounts? I rest my case. -Robert G. Allen


50. History proves... that a smart central bank can protect the economy and the financial sector from the nastier side effects of a stock market collapse. -Ben Bernanke


51. The markets generally are unpredictable, so that one has to have different scenarios. The idea that you can actually predict what’s going to happen contradicts my way of looking at the market. -George Soros


52. Part of my advantage is that my strength is economic forecasting, but that only works in free markets, when markets are smarter than people. That's how I started. I watched the stock market, how equities reacted to change in levels of economic activity, and I could understand how price signals worked and how to forecast them. -Stanley Druckenmiller


53. If there is one common theme to the vast range of the world’s financial crises, it is that excessive debt accumulation, whether by the government, banks, corporations, or consumers, often poses greater systemic risks than it seems during a boom. -Carmen Reinhart


54. A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist. -Franklin Jones


55. Everyone has the power to follow the stock market. If you made it through fifth grade math, you can do it. -Peter Lynch


56. A default on our debts as a result of not meeting our obligations would be a disaster for the stock market, and Americans would see their retirement funds shrivel up. -Charles B. Rangel


57. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. -Steven Wright


58. Get inside information from the president and you will lose half of your money. If you get it from the chairman of the board, you will lose all your money. -Jim Rogers


59. Index investing outperforms active management year after year. -Jim Rogers


60. Look at market fluctuations as your friend rather than your enemy. Profit from folly rather than participate in it. -Warren Buffett


61. I was about thirteen when I started thinking about the stock market. My dad helped me a little bit. I'd see it in the 'Santa Barbara News-Press.' These prices would change every day - what was that all about? -Charles Schwab


62. We don't prognosticate macroeconomic factors, we're looking at our companies from a bottom-up perspective on their long-run prospects of returning. -Mellody Hobson


63. The stock market is like a small row boat on a rough sea, bouncing around as it drifts, whereas the macro economy is like a large ocean liner, very ponderous and difficult to maneuver but without such a rough journey. Clive Granger


64. When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. -Henry Ford


65. A stock market index helps investors track the performance of a group of stocks. NRDC worked with FTSE to develop comprehensive and transparent methodologies that screen out companies linked to owning, exploring, or extracting fossil fuels. -Frances Beinecke


66. Courage taught me no matter how bad a crisis gets ... any sound investment will eventually pay off. -Carlos Slim Helu


67. Most people give up just when they are about to achieve success. They quit on one yard line. They give up the at last minute of the game one foot from a winning touch down. -Henry Ross Perot


68. Recent economic data shows that our economy is robust, growing and headed in the right direction. The numbers don't lie. Americans are currently enjoying falling gas prices, low unemployment, increased job creation, and a stock market that has reached an all-time high. -J. D. Hayworth


69. The individual investor should act consistently as an investor and not as a speculator. -Ben Graham


70. The stock market crash in October 1929 didn't destroy a particularly large amount of wealth or make people highly pessimistic. Rather, it made companies and consumers very unsure about future income, and so led them to stop spending as they waited for more information. -Christina Romer


71. The stock market clearly values companies that can deliver disruptive innovation. -Steve Blank


72. You must not only learn to live with tension, you must seek it out. You must learn to thrive on stress. -J. Paul Getty


73. In the 1987 stock market crash, according to the conclusions of the official Brady report, colossal sales of stock index futures by so-called portfolio insurers - whose investment strategies depended entirely on these derivatives - greatly exacerbated the 500-point market decline. -Carol Loomis


74. My two rules of investing: Rule one – never lose money. Rule two – never forget rule one. -Warren Buffett


75. I think that stocks have been this tremendous, tremendous equalizer for people in this country. Guys who can't make a lot of money at their jobs have been able to make a lot of money in the stock market. -Jim Cramer


76. I'm very much interested in getting prisons off the stock market. I'm very much interested in upgrading the public school system... and taking a second look at capital punishment. -Ruby Dee


77. It is better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you will drift in that direction. -Warren Buffett


78. Every portfolio benefits from bonds; they provide a cushion when the stock market hits a rough patch. But avoiding stocks completely could mean your investment won't grow any faster than the rate of inflation. -Suze Orman



79. Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement. -Henry Ford


80.  In addition to a soaring stock market, 6.6 million jobs have been created since tax relief measures went into effect in 2003. Our deficit situation has also improved as tax revenues have increased at double-digit rates over the past two years. -Randy Neugebauer


81. Do not but the hype from wall street and the press that stocks always go up. There are long periods when stocks do nothing and other investments are better. -Jim Rogers


82. Facebook is like the Internet: a large company and an application. Bitcoin is a protocol for decentralisation, so you could build a decentralised company on top of it, a stock market. It's an Internet of ownership, so it's not quite a direct comparison. -Tyler Winklevoss


83. The biggest risk of all is not taking one. -Mellody Hobson


84. When we do an investment, we always ask, 'Can we affect the outcome? When buying a company, can we have an impact?' That's a different style of investing than a passive investor in the stock market. To me, that's how you're taking the risk out of it. You know what your capability is and how you can enhance value. -Dan Gilbert


85. You can no longer buy commodities at Merrill Lynch. My guess is many analysts and even executives are too young to know how a hot commodities market can be. They will soon. -Jim Rogers


86. It's not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. -Robert Kiyosaki


87. I am very concerned about the millions of baby boomers who are counting on the stock market to deliver them a safe, sound, long retirement. I am afraid the baby boomers who are counting on the stock market are in trouble. -Robert Kiyosaki


88. In 2013, Samsung accounted for about 20 percent of South Korea's total business profits. Samsung Electronics, just one of scores of subsidiaries, accounts for close to 15 percent of the total shares in the South Korean stock market. But you don't need to know these figures to get a feel for Samsung's hold on the country. -Kim Young-ha


89. Know what you own, and know why you own it. -Peter Lynch


90. The stock market is for people who live in Manhattan and summer in the Hamptons, for people who can afford fancy cars - a Mercedes, say. -Owen King


91. To learn new things; you might need to unlearn old thought and tricks. Both processes can never be achieved without humility. -Ajaero Tony Martins


92. If the oil price goes down, Russia will go down. You can track the Ruble, you can track the stock market, just off the price of oil. -Bill Browder


93. Financial peace isn't the acquisition of stuff. It's learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can't win until you do this. -Dave Ramsey


94. Approaches to determining stock values vary, but fundamentally, each company judging itself undervalued is saying that its future stream of earnings justifies a higher price than the stock market is willing to accord it. -Carol Loomis


95. We had a booming stock market in 1929 and then went into the world's greatest depression. We have a booming stock market in 1999. Will the bubble somehow burst, and then we enter depression? Well, some things are not different. -Jeffrey Sachs


96. Diversification is a protection against ignorance. It makes very little sense to those who know what they are doing. -Warren Buffet


97. First, his job approval ratings have been trending down for many months, a trend that has accelerated in recent weeks as the war on terrorism has been supplanted in the public's mind by corporate scandals, stock market declines, and a growing sense of economic insecurity. -Thomas E. Mann


98. Buy when everyone else is selling and hold when everyone else is buying. This is not merely a catchy slogan. It is the very essence of successful investments. -J. Paul Getty


99. I'm dubious about having Social Security put into the stock market. I think that we have gotten very far away from the idea that there's something sacrosanct about retirement investments. -Ron Chernow


100. A winning strategy must include losing. -Rich Dad